How late is late? A fair rule for the grey zone

Is one minute late? Is three? Every running joke about lateness eventually hits the same argument: “That doesn’t count, I was basically on time.”

If you’re going to count every minute, it helps to agree on the rules before the first disputed minute. Here’s a simple set that works for most people.

Rule one: the clock starts at the agreed time

Not when you arrive, not when you texted “here”, not when you could see each other. If you said 6:00, the clock starts at 6:00. Anything vaguer turns every entry into a debate.

The one exception: if the plan changed and both of you knew, the new time is the agreed time. “Let’s say 6:15 instead” resets the clock. A one-sided “running 10 late!” text does not.

Rule two: whole minutes, rounded down

Ninety seconds is one minute. Fifty seconds is nothing. Rounding down keeps it fair and stops anyone logging “0.4 minutes” to make a point. It’s also how Ur Late counts: whole minutes only.

Rule three: a grace period is a choice, not a default

Some pairs agree that anything under two minutes doesn’t count. That’s reasonable. But decide it together and stick to it. A grace period that only applies to whoever is arguing right now isn’t a grace period.

If you don’t agree on one, there isn’t one. One minute late is one minute late.

Rule four: the waiting matters, not the reason

Traffic, a dead phone, a cat that wouldn’t get off the keyboard: all true, all sympathetic, all still minutes someone spent waiting. Logging a late arrival isn’t a verdict on whether someone is a good person. It just records the wait.

If something genuinely wasn’t their fault, the person who waited can always let it go. In Ur Late that’s what Forgive is for, and only the person who was owed can use it.

Rule five: either of you can log it

The person who waited logs it most of the time. But the late one should be able to own up and log it themselves. Nothing defuses an argument faster than someone saying “yeah, I’ll put that one on myself.”

Rule six: disagreements get a window

If one of you thinks an entry is wrong, say so quickly. In Ur Late, entries count straight away and the other person has 48 hours to dispute one. After that, it stands. If you’d rather approve every entry before it counts, switch to confirm mode.

The short version

Agreed time, whole minutes, no surprise grace periods, reasons don’t erase waiting, either of you can log, and disputes happen quickly. Write that down once and you’ll never argue about the rules again, only about who owes whom.